In what observers are calling a defining moment for the culture, a comprehensive study conducted by Riverside Cinema employee Derek Martinez has conclusively determined that horror movies contain frightening content that may startle viewers.

The groundbreaking research, conducted over a busy weekend shift, involved Martinez observing patron reactions during screenings of various horror films. "I noticed people were jumping and making loud noises during the scary parts," Martinez told reporters while restocking candy. "Some even covered their eyes, which suggests they found the visual content disturbing." The study, which sources close to the situation describe as "totally giving main character energy," represents the first formal documentation of horror films' capacity to frighten audiences.

According to multiple people familiar with the matter—specifically, Martinez and his supervisor Linda—the correlation between scary movies and scared people appears to be statistically significant. Theater manager Patricia Hendricks confirmed that cleanup crews discovered "an above-average amount of spilled beverages and dropped snacks" in theaters showing horror content, indicating elevated stress responses among moviegoers. The data suggests that when people watch movies designed to be frightening, they experience fear-related physiological reactions at rates approaching 100%.

"I'm actually more of a rom-com person myself," Martinez added when reached for comment. "But my girlfriend says I need to branch out more, so maybe I'll try watching one of those documentaries about penguins."