ScienceMarch 29, 2026
NASA Scientists Forced to Invent New Classification System After Discovering Impact So Large It Contains Entire Previous Moon
Crater designated as 'Moon-within-Moon' after consuming 73% of lunar surface area.
By Theo Pappas
394 articles published
PoliticsMarch 29, 2026
Federal Reserve Announces Historic Currency Redesign Just as Nation Discovers Physical Money Still Exists
Treasury officials express confidence that updated bills will reach maximum visibility during final phase of cash elimination.
By Gert Beckham
TechMarch 29, 2026
Small Business Owner Discovers Marketing Budget Exclusively Reserved For Purchasing Evidence That Marketing Budget Exists
Local entrepreneur allocates 73% of quarterly spend to acquiring testimonials about previous marketing expenditures.
By Vinny Levobitz
CultureMarch 29, 2026
Local Burglars Demonstrate Unprecedented Commitment to Work-Life Balance by Stealing Only Personal Items
Professional thieves reportedly left all valuable electronics untouched in favor of family photos, childhood journals, and sentimental knickknacks.
By Ashley Banks
TechMarch 28, 2026
Startup Seeks Engineer to Build AI That Will Eventually Replace Engineer Building It
Position description notes successful candidate will train their own algorithmic successor within 18 months.
By Valtteri Hayha
OpinionMarch 28, 2026
I Watched Trump's G20 Performance and Realized We're All Missing the Point About Modern Diplomacy
The president's unfiltered approach to international relations reveals uncomfortable truths about what leadership really means in 2024.
By Marlowe Finch
CultureMarch 28, 2026
AI Medical Assistant Diagnoses Itself With Severe Case of Cherry Flavor Preference
Digital physician cites WebMD as primary source for self-assessment.
By Ashley Banks
TechMarch 28, 2026
Venture Capital Firm Launches AI-Powered Fund Manager That Exclusively Invests in AI Companies That Replace Human Jobs
Platform achieves 347% efficiency gains by eliminating human decision-making from investment process entirely.
By Vinny Levobitz
CultureMarch 28, 2026
Developer Who Created Moaning Mac App Reports Feeling 'Spiritually Fulfilled' by Career Pivot
Former enterprise software engineer says transition to audio novelty apps has given life 'deeper meaning'
By Ashley Banks
PoliticsMarch 28, 2026
Congressional Committee Votes to Merge Pull Request Containing Nation's Entire Budget
Bipartisan approval reached after heated debate over commit message formatting standards.
By Gert Beckham
TechMarch 28, 2026
Local Developer Shocked to Discover Nobody Has Read His 47-Page README File
Documentation includes comprehensive troubleshooting section for issues that have never occurred.
By Valtteri Hayha
TechMarch 28, 2026
Anthropic Introduces Voluntary AI Rationing Program To Build Character In Users
Company reports that artificial scarcity will help customers develop patience, grit.
By Valtteri Hayha
CultureMarch 28, 2026
New AI Chatbot Achieves Perfect 5-Star Rating By Agreeing With Every User Opinion
Platform sees 340% increase in engagement after removing disagreement feature entirely.
By Ashley Banks
ScienceMarch 28, 2026
Meta-Analysis of Meta-Analyses Concludes Meta-Analyses Should Analyze More Meta-Analyses
Researchers call for urgent funding to study the methodology of studying methodologies that study other methodologies.
By Theo Pappas
PoliticsMarch 28, 2026
Congressional Subcommittee Announces Investigation Into Whether WiFi Constitutes Foreign Interference
Lawmakers raise concerns about invisible signals crossing state lines without proper documentation.
By Gert Beckham
TechMarch 28, 2026
Laid-Off Tech Workers Discover Valuable New Skill: Being Laid Off
Industry veterans report significant improvement in severance package negotiation after third round of cuts.
By Valtteri Hayha
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