A comprehensive geological survey published this week has forced the scientific community to acknowledge that mountain height rankings have been determined through what researchers describe as "fundamentally unscientific guesswork" for the past century. The study, which involved actually counting mountains for the first time, revealed that Earth contains approximately 847,000 previously unacknowledged peaks, many of which exceed Everest's height by substantial margins.

"We've been operating under the assumption that we knew where all the big mountains were," said Dr. Helena Kristoffersen, Professor of Terrestrial Elevation Studies at the Norwegian Institute of Geographic Certainty. "It turns out we've been measuring the same dozen mountains over and over again while ignoring entire mountain ranges that were, frankly, too inconvenient to reach with our equipment."

The findings suggest that traditional mountain measurement protocols have been compromised by what researchers term "accessibility bias," wherein scientists have historically only measured mountains located near functional airports and decent hotels. According to the study, 67% of Earth's tallest peaks are located in regions where researchers would be required to bring their own coffee, a logistical barrier that has apparently proved insurmountable for decades of geological expeditions.

The revelation has prompted broader questions about what it means to be human when faced with the uncomfortable reality that we have been confidently ranking natural formations without actually knowing how many of them exist. "This really makes you think," noted Dr. Kristoffersen, while staring pensively at a topographic map. "Also, we're pretty sure there are some mountains underwater, but we haven't gotten around to checking yet."