In what observers are calling a defining moment for the intersection of intellectual property law and basic human expression, entertainment attorney Marcus Kleinfeld announced that the overwhelming majority of his practice now centers on educating clients about the legal ramifications of making sounds with their mouths.

"People don't realize that the simple act of humming 'Happy Birthday' in an elevator could constitute a public performance," said Kleinfeld, who specializes in music licensing disputes. "Last week alone, I had to explain to three separate individuals why singing in the shower might require ASCAP clearance if their bathroom has particularly good acoustics."

According to sources close to the situation, the trend has accelerated following a series of high-profile lawsuits targeting comedians, birthday party attendees, and people who unconsciously whistle Disney songs while grocery shopping. Industry analysts estimate that casual musical expression now generates approximately $2.3 billion in annual litigation, up 847% from 2019.

Kleinfeld noted that his firm has recently expanded to include a specialized department focused exclusively on determining whether humming constitutes fair use. "Yesterday I spent four hours analyzing whether a client's rendition of 'Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star' at a baby shower qualified as parody," Kleinfeld said. "Turns out the baby was actually crying, so we're in the clear."